I have been lucky enough to live the life of an explorer. I’ve ventured across dusty lands and stormy seas to all corners of the globe. Along the way, I’ve learned valuable lessons. First lesson: approach new people with a jocular attitude. I calmed a swarm of abominable ruffians in the desert by telling funny stories and trading knickknacks. This will allow you to make new friends wherever you go.
My second lesson: pack smartly so you don’t spend an exorbitant amount of money on clothes. You will need outfits for all occasions. Standing at the aft deck of a ship gets cold, so if you want to catch a glimpse of the fluorescent jellyfish at night, you’ll need to pack a warm anorak, balaclava, and a pair of galoshes. But fancy invitations can occur at any moment. I was once invited to sit with the descendants of royals at a concert hall and watch the premiere of a new satire. Thankfully, I had packed my good pair of knickerbockers, a cummerbund, and my prescription pince-nez.
My third lesson: respect and partake in local traditions. I have encountered caravans of travelers along my routes and celebrated their holidays, joined in their dances, and dined on their food. Oh yes, I have broken many a bread in my day—focaccia, naan, challah, frybread, injera, and lavash—and all were delicious.
Now that I am old, not physically what I once was, I am planning for my penultimate voyage. I am taking off in a new invention called a whirlybird, which provides excellent views of the sky! I don’t quite understand the ballistics, but my crew assures me that this heavy vehicle will fly. Please know that I am not sad, but rather ebullient to be taking my second to last trip. Now I must vamoose and prepare for my departure. Maybe I’ll learn some lessons along the way and take my final trip as an older but wiser adventurer.
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