self-punishing
adjective
self-pun·ish·ing
ˌself-ˈpə-ni-shiŋ
: acting or serving to punish oneself
self-punishing thoughts
… it squared with what they knew about the troubled soul of Meriwether Lewis; … how hard he was on himself; … and how self-punishing he was when he felt that he was not meeting his own or the world's expectations.—Clay S. Jenkinson
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Merriam-Webster unabridged
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