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self-loath·ing | \ ˌself-ˈlō-ṯẖiŋ 
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\Definition of self-loathing
: loathing of oneself : self-hatred acting out of fear and self-loathing … the idea that the self-absorption and egotism of the narcissist are a pose to mask their opposite: a deep well of self-loathing and low self-esteem.— Jeffrey Kluger
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The first known use of self-loathing was in 1635
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