pick-me

1 of 2

noun

ˈpik-ˌmē 

variants or pick me

plural pick-mes or pick mes

slang, disparaging

: a person and especially a young woman who seeks attention and approval by behaving in a disingenuous manner : someone who tries too hard to earn acceptance

I feel like I made music from places that were really scary for me, not to sound like such a pick-me …

—Reneé Rapp, quoted at rollingstone.com

A pick me is someone who tries so hard to be different from everyone else that they get what they tried to avoid so hard in the first place, their own stereotype.

—Lillie Rohan and Bethany Reitsma

especially : pick-me girl

Videos of girls pretending to be pick-mes garner thousands of views with people in the comments praising themselves for how they could never do this. They would never stoop so low to shape themselves around the affinities of men.

—Yashvini Deva

pick-me

2 of 2

adjective

variants or less commonly pick me

slang, disparaging

: seeking attention and approval by behaving in a disingenuous manner

It's not as if he didn't seek attention, but he carried himself with an off-putting pick-me energy …, an intent to prove he was the smartest guy in the room.

—Bryan Armen Graham

especially, of a woman or girl : seeking attention and approval especially from men by feigning interest in stereotypically male activities or conforming to traditional values and often by belittling other women

… Much of the criticism of pick-me women often relates to how they engage with other women, for example, exclaiming from the rooftops to men how they "hate girl drama", blatantly agreeing with anti-feminist thoughts, claiming to be much lower maintenance than other women or jokingly highlighting the fact that they wear less makeup compared to other women …

—Kadean Smith

I've spent a lot of my life not feeling like I fit in to being a woman, and I think for a couple of years because of that insecurity, I became almost like very pick-me about it.

—Billie Eilish, speaking on ABC News Network

see also pick-me girl

Word History

First Known Use

Noun

2016, in the meaning defined above

Adjective

2018, in the meaning defined above