ambivalent
adjective
                                                                                                                            
                                                            am·biv·a·lent
                    
                                                                                                              
                                                                                                                                  am-ˈbi-və-lənt 
                                                      
                                                          
            
                                
              
          
                                                      : having or showing simultaneous and contradictory attitudes or feelings toward something or someone : characterized by ambivalence                                      
              
                             
… people whose relationship to their job is ambivalent, conflicted.—
Terrence Rafferty
                                       Americans are deeply ambivalent about the country's foreign role. Isolationist yearnings coexist uneasily with superpower policies.—
David P. Calleo
                         
                
                    
                                                      ambivalently
                                      adverb
                                                                                                      
                        
                        
    
          
         
                        He spoke ambivalently about his military experiences.    
  
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  Merriam-Webster unabridged




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