sonder

noun

son·​der ˈsän-dər 

: the realization and understanding that all other people have lives as complex as one's own

[John] Koenig came up with the term "sonder," to mean "the awareness that everyone around you is the main character of their own story, but to you they're just extras in the background."

—Jessica Stillman

Like many study abroad trips, Hickman reiterated just how powerful and life-changing it is to see the world from another perspective. Reinforcing the concept of sonder in which one understands the complexity of every individual life.

—Grace MacKinnon

[The podcast] Beautiful/Anonymous has taught me to approach life with a greater appreciation for what I can't understand beyond my perception of the people around me, to experience sonder in my daily life by keeping in mind that everyone's life is subject to complexity beyond my ability to perceive it.

—Karan Nevatia

Word History

Etymology

probably in part from French sonder "to measure the depth of, sound entry 6," in part from German sondern "to separate," going back to Old High German suntarōn — more at sunder

Note: The word was introduced by American author John Koenig in The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows, a collection of words coined to describe feelings, emotional states, etc., for which the English language seems to lack a current word. The dictionary was initiated as a website in 2009 and became a printed book in 2021.

First Known Use

2021, in the meaning defined above